right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
