My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
