Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
