Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
