he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
