im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
