How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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