Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
