I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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