I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
