Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
soo... how was my night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
