You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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