Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
