dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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