think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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