She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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