This is not my ceiling
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
