so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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