I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
