I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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