You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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