Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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