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Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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