Tell her she can't have a vagina
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
