You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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