i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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