Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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