I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
