you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
