I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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