Midget sex pt 2 tonight
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
