found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
