Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i dont even know how to be here
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
