I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
