i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh god it's open bar.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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