I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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