So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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