Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So many bounce houses so little time
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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