I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
