Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think people are normalizing furries
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
