That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
