Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
