We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
