Duck Duck Cougar?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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