I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
