Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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