So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We are all done wearing pants today
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
