wat bout pragnant strippers??
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
