just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
