Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
home. puking in laundry basket.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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