Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
