NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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