her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
