ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
