hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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