Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize