yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize